Phone Screensaver Quote

I have decided to give myself some words to live by as my screensaver on my phone.

In school I was always a fan of my Moral Philosophy lessons, particulatrly studying greek philosophers such as Plato , Socrates, Aquinas, Aristotle etc......

I re-read a book the other day that I had from the lesson and one line in particular caught my eye, it was the only line in the whole book that I had highlighted and it simply said

"Be Kind. For Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"

So this is now on my phone. I think there is great truth in it, no one else really knows anyone else's circumstances and until you do you cannot possibly understand, so maybe a simple smile can make someone's day, a nice gesture no matter how big or small can make a difference. Its worth thinking about

For example, I completely bemused my work mate last week. In work I brought a scratchcard, and I have previously before but I have always made the deal with myself that as a nice gesture if it is over the cost of the card then I share it with whoever I am on break with. Usually I go with the same two people - the same person on a sunday and the same on a thursday. Well this week when I brought one I was on break with another staff member called Luke - who Ive worked with a good few years now. Well my scratch card won me £15, which I split into £7.50 and when I walked back to the staff room I put his share on the table and said it was his.
He looked confused and puzzled at me, told me I was a bit odd but accepted it after me telling him what I liked to do.
It made his day and it was something unexpected. A simple gesture like that can brighten someones mood though and I think that is something nice we should all try and do for each other.

Im a huge believer in the whole 'pay it forward' idea as well but thats another post.

Negative people quote

I've just read a quote that says 

"remember when negative people are

 doing their worst to you, god is doing

 great work within you" 

now I'm not a religious person but I always find great comfort in this.

 Simple, Beautiful and Honest.

Counselling........

Joint counselling......

Ok so life lately has been a bit squiffy. My sister had her daughter in October  last year and has been suffering with PND ever since to the point that she recently got sent for a psychiatric analysis at a mental health ward after suffering with suicidal thoughts. I'm grateful that medical experts have realised she needs help and she's getting it but I still worry about my two nieces she has custody of. (I should probably explain she has 3 daughters, all by different fathers, her eldest T  is 7, her middle is S and she's 5, and the baby is A and she's almost 4 months old) well S lives with her father permanently, T's dad bailed when T was 6 months old and not been seen since and Baby A's dad is my sister Abby's current partner.

Anyway my sister and myself both suffer with panic attacks. Mine started when I was 15 so I've ha them for 13 years and my sister has had hers for about 3 or 4 years now. 

She mentioned it in her first medical assessment and they suggested our parents divorce was maybe a trigger for them. They divorced 13 years ago. It was a horrid divorce and not something I like to remember. There was lots of screaming, shouting and unfaithfulness that surrounded it and it basically all boiled down to my mums infidelity. 

Anyway needless to say my dad threw my mum out and she subsequently moved in with her lesbian friend and my dad was devastated. I'm very close to my dad and my sister is very close to my mum. Well after about 6 months my mums friend bailed on her and left her high and dry with bill paying and debt to the point she couldn't afford to feed herself and was surviving on biscuits, so I made the decision to move in with my mum, broke my dads heart but I knew as the eldest child (there is only me and my sister) that I couldn't see her struggle so I went with my mum and my sister stayed with my dad. 

Things were OK there. Mum got child benefit for me and tax credits which helped ease things and she could claim to help with her rent etc and I got a part time job in a garden centre. She basically from then treated me like a lodger and I paid my way but as soon as I moved in I knew thugs weren't right between us. She was still with phil, but she was cheating on him with Dave who was forever at the house when phil was back in Birmingham, as soon as she dumped Phil , she got with Dave and was instantly cheating on him with Steve, she then got with Steve officially and then cheated on him with several others......all the time with her daughter under the same roof. :-( 

My sister moved in a year later after my dad was given a job in Chester (he's in the RAF) and he moved in with his girlfriend and Abby, being given the freedom from mum went off the rails, she did drugs, drank, had under-age unprotected sex and got in with the wrong crowd. My mother is hardly an ideal role model, she cheated, had sex with whoever wanted it, did drugs - she use to keep a cannabis pipe in the kitchen cupboard and my sister had two 'bongs' in her bedroom, I came home from sixth form to find my mum  smoking cannabis in the kitchen one day to find my sister was in the local police station after being arrested on a drug charge. Ideal family life - NOT!

I should at this point reiterate I am my fathers daughter. I have never tried nor plan to try drugs, I smoked for 2 years between the age of 15 and 17, and my mother allowed me to drink since I was 15 so as soon as I ht 18 and could legally I made the choice not too. I've done none of the above since I was 18 and have been 10 years straight edge. I don't have promiscuous sex ever either - I've had two boyfriends, one for 2 years And the other is Owen, we've been together over 10 years now with two babies to show for it . 

I'm thankful for what I have. And I count my blessings however small but I do wish that this event could be erased from my memory. 

Isnt life funny

Isn't life funny.....

If you'd of told me when I was 13 that in 15 year time I'd be sat on the sofa, a mum to two beautiful babies who are 2 and 8 years old , step mum to an 11 year old who I met when he was 18 months, girlfriend of 10 years to a gorgeous man with my own house, secure part time job and had graduated school with 10 GCSEs, sixth form saw me with 3 A levels and one A/S level and college gave me an interior design NVQ, I would have quite possibly told you you were nuts. 

But fact of the matter is, that's where I am now. That's what my life is. It may not be my planned dream for myself that I had, I didn't plan to fall in love at 18, I didn't plan to get pregnant at 19 and have two children by the time I was 26, but I think it's turned out perfectly and I wouldn't change it. 

:-) 

x S x

I should have brought a coat...........

Note to self.......you should have brought a coat...... 

 The little station was freezing that morning, but then again what else would you expect in the middle of December? 

As she sat on the cold black metal seats, she could feel the cold penetrating her trousers, and her cheeks and ears were numbing with the icy cold.

People in the station today seemed almost sombre  She was so use to sitting alone with only the local weirdo for company that today seemed very busy. Maybe others knew something she didn't....? 

 There were 9 people besides herself in the station today. 5 men and 4 woman. Some busying themselves with music, some reading, some just blissfully unaware and staring out the window.
The call for Swansea rang out over the tannoy but no one moved. Maybe they were all waiting for the 8.48 to Paddington like she was.
Her mission today was to get to Bristol on time. She made plans every year to meet her nan in Bath, but because of her little girl being sick the last week she had had to sadly cancel. Her nan therefore had the idea to reschedule to today in Bristol instead.
They had done it the last two years, but had never had a successful meet up, the first year her train was delayed so she had missed the next one and got stuck an hour on Newport station, the second year her nan was delayed due to water on the track - this year they were both determined.  

Needless to say she had now learnt her lesson and instead of swapping trains in Newport she was swapping in Cardiff main station.
I cannot get it through to you just how horrid a station Newport was back then (it may have changed now) but it was a 2 track bolt hole, no indoors, no coffee stand, no usable toilet - horrid. At least in Cardiff she knew she could sit and have a cup of coffee. 
8.41 the clock read. The cold now began to pierce her hoody. There were more people accumulating in the station. She secretly hoped they weren't all for her train. She wanted a seat! 

x S x